Ignorant Shit pt 1 – THE CRISTIAN ALEXANDA STORY

Lets talk about this, shall we =)

Cristian Alexanda one of the best of australia’s 3 ‘active’ male rnb singers (him, Isreal and Levi… er, better make that 2 active male rnb singers.

Teams up with Ja Rule for Too Fine.

Cristian Alexanda’s Myspace.

But first some interesting observations:

1. His location on myspace is listed as ‘Worldwide, United States’. I hate him already. I hate people who list themselve’s as worldwide, as if they are some mega superstar who is travelling the globe every day. Fuck off. Jay-z Live is Brooklyn. 50 Cent lives in Connecticut, and Cristyle has the audacity to refer to him self as international. 10 Douchebag points, immediately, to this man.

click here to read more about this

2. His myspace background is a rip-off of Louis V. I’m know mad that it’s ripping of Louis V, whatever on that one.. it’s just that, well, Louis is yesterday’s news. Like Bathing Ape. Shits. Been. Done. Of course, if he had a true sense of style, he’d pay homage to some luxury brand that isnt fucking namedropped in every rhyme. Cavalli’s a good start. And beside’s covering your myspace in mock Louis print doesn’t mean your baaaalliin like that in real life, are you Christopher?

Now, I don’t mind Cristyle – he’s definitely an idol-quality singer =) That said, lets talk about this Ja Rule Record.

Well… Let’s see very good authority puts the cost of Ja Rule’s record appearance at $40, 000. That same source puts jeffrey’s video appearance at $30, 000. So we’re already 70, 000 in the hole here.

Thats $70K no one’s going to see again. ever.

Ja Rule’s not too bad. The beat is okay, not hot, nor unique, nor incredible, but hey, whatever its okay… overall it’s alright, take it or leave i guess

The Video.. ahem.. Well we start in front of a hummer with some Brooklyn buildings in the background, because shooting a video in a sectioned off part of the ‘hood’ with a hummer makes it a real urban video, doesn’t? Makes it authentic, right? An besides, he’s worldwide, not based in Sydney. +10 douche points.

Then there’s this dance instructor sort of scene, the purpose of which i can only assume is because Cristian said a real rnb video has girls dancing. And Hummers. And he’s all about keeping it real.

And somehow he works a Billie Jean bridge in. Asshole.

The rest of the video has a very disinterested Ja Rule, making his appearance to keep everything ‘authentic’.

At least it’ll sell. Because Ja rule’s such a bankable star these days, with huge hits like Body and Uh oh tearing up the charts, surely his star power will return the $100, 000+ investment? Right? Right?

Thanks Cristian, for setting every Australian Artist trying to be ‘worldwide’ back ten years.

CLICK HERE FOR CRISTIAN”S MESSAGE AND REPLY TO ADDICTED 2 HIP HOP